The exhaustion that pain brings

Now, I don’t want to imply in any way that my pain is even close to the pain many many others live with everyday, it’s not. See, I broke my toe last night. Walking by the couch, I accidentally kicked the solid corner of my couch in full stride. The pain was only preceded by the “SNAP” that I heard, as did my wife on the other side of the room. I and she instantly knew, I’d broken something in my left foot. So I attempted walking it off, but found that the pain was only growing. I stopped and examined my foot to see the toe next to the “pinky” was swelling and was no longer pointing straight forward but was a little crooked. It was 10:30 at night so unless I wanted to hit the emergency room, it was going to have to wait until today. So, this morning I contacted my general practitioner’s office and got an appointment. After three x-rays, which progressed from slightly uncomfortable to quite painful, my Doc came in and said, “you broke it.” He showed me the xrays and suggested that I had done a good job at my injury. The spiraled break in my toe, while painful, was really just a toe break and the treatment: tape it to the other toe and wear stiff souled boots.

That background sets the circumstance I found myself today. So I attempted to keep off my foot as much as life would allow; in other words, I found myself on my foot a bit more than was probably best. All in all, I didn’t do much more than a normal day but now, at the end of my day, I find that I am inordinately tired and feeling just a little bit under the weather. The only thing that I can figure is that pain exhausts. If my little pain is enough to exhaust me, I can’t imagine how people who live with chronic pain that is much more intense than mine keep up their energy. Pain is exhausting.

Thanks for letting me whine a little bit.


Some words from Michael Moore

I know that many don’t like Mr. Moore, but I do.  I appreciate the things he exposes and I tend to agree with his perspectives on most things.  Below is a link to an article he wrote to religious folk on their way to Church.  Now some will say he is just promoting his film so that he can be one of the richest 1% he is speaking about.  Maybe so.  But the questions he asks should be asked by us.

On Capitalism

Below is a poem I wrote a number of years ago.  It is pertinent and posted today because I have been looking at the same documents that spurred its being written.  The color blue is equivalent to my current mood and emotions.

Empty Spaces

Who would have thought, it’s not readily apparent

From this side.

It is just a space on a document, and a small one at that.

They are created and missed all the time:

Different types from different contexts,

Written on different colours of paper.

Most of the time, they don’t mean anything in particular:

Some are for style, some are mistakes, some on purpose.

For the most part they are but they are missed.

However, from the other side: on the side of being,

They are an expanse, an empty void that fills a world.

They span lifetimes, and where it is rightly said that

They are empty and therefore say nothing;

They are not without meaning…

Rather, they are full of meaning—absent meaning.

They have a meaning never conjugated or communicated,

Never enabled to have given shape or form.

Nonetheless, they have much meaning,

they walk and communicate,

they have taken shape and have been formed.

They exist by absence in the empty void of that space,

As they live and breath and wonder.

They are adopted, they are, but they are missing.

By M. Kelley Mata III, also known as john Phillip Paul

May 2, 2002